Yesterday we started looking at 5 Ways to Enjoy Your Singleness. We talked about engaging with those around you and focusing on yourself. Today let’s discuss three other options.
3. Embrace truth and beauty
Unwanted singleness often brings with it a set of lies. “I’m not good enough.” “Something must be wrong with me.” “If only I were thinner/prettier/smarter etc. etc.”
Only the Word of God can help us find our way out of these lies and into His truth. And if we’re going to embrace truth and beauty, we have to start with the words of life given by the Creator of truth and beauty.
I love the words of the Psalmist in Ps 139: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I also love Paul’s admonition in Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
It isn’t easy to train our minds and to fight the lies that threaten to discourage us, but it is worth it.
4. Stop waiting
I read a quote recently that I can’t stop thinking about. “Perhaps a greater tragedy than a broken dream is a life forever defined by it.”
I have hoped and prayed for a husband for many, many years. As of today, that dream has not been fulfilled. My childbearing years are almost entirely behind me, and I’ve never had the opportunity to birth a child.
God’s good plan for me has not included the two things I desire most of all in this life.
But I don’t want to be defined by my lack. It can be tempting to spend our single years waiting. While we wait for a spouse, if we’re not careful, we can end up putting our whole lives on hold.
Can I gently encourage you to live your one beautiful life and not waste it by waiting?
We’re not promised marriage and children, but we are called to be faithful with what God has given us today.
For me, not waiting has looked like buying a home, and pursuing a career, and traveling all over the world. I don’t wait to host dinner parties or to find ways to “mother” the children in my life.
Those things you want to do with your life? Go do them, dear sister. Don’t wait. Live the life God has given you this day.
5. Learn to rejoice in “what is.”
In our social media saturated world, FOMO is a real fear. For those of you who don’t know, FOMO is “fear of missing out.”
Generally, this feeling comes after we spend too much time scrolling through social media at carefully curated pictures of friends, family, celebrities, and influencers.
Yet, FOMO is not a new fear. Theodore Roosevelt back at the turn of the 20th century coined the phrase “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Long before Instagram, humans have lost their joy over what they don’t possess.
Successfully navigating unwanted singleness forces us to learn to rejoice in what we do have, and not constantly focus on what we don’t have.
One very practical way that I’ve learned to rejoice in what I have is to make lists of things I’m thankful for. A friend started doing this and I borrowed the idea from her. Stopping to take note of what I’m thankful for retrains my heart to focus on what is in front of me.
Today, I got a mani/pedi and Starbucks. It was a great pick me up after a stressful afternoon. Next week, I’m going to spend time with my friend’s children. We’ll go out for a ‘crazy fun adventure’ otherwise known as a CFA, and we’ll watch fun movies with popcorn, and who knows, we may even have a sleepover at my place!
I’m still as single as an $1 dollar bill but I’m rejoicing in what I do have.
As a side note, I’d like to challenge you to expand this practice not only to the “things” God has given you, but to God Himself. When was the last time you rejoiced in your salvation? When was the last time you remembered the gift of the Holy Spirit and the comfort He brings?
Living with unwanted singleness is really hard, and we must learn to focus on truth if we’re going to persevere. I hope that you’ll learn to have fun with an unexpected life.
Yes, I just said that being single can be fun—even when you do it for far longer that you expected!
I hope these 5 steps will help you enjoy your singleness. I’d love to hear your ideas. Feel free to comment below or send me an email.
